Topic: Does anybody else experience this?

Hi,

Yes what you describe seems familiar.
I do not have an emotional connection with my children, or grandchildren. I am around them, and interest with them, but I dont get the warm fuzzy feeling that it seems that others have.

I think a common mistake, is thinking that you need to feel a certain way around your friends and family, it is very common that people don't feel much for their family or offspring. A lot of people lump that in with "I'm just taking them for granted", but life isn't constant excitement around friends and family, its mundane.

I have the same issue. I understand emotions, I can describe truelly emotional scenes, I'm a writer... I can live vicariously through characters either my own or others'... but I don't in real life. I don't want my hubby or child to die... or get really hurt. But that's it. I have no emotional attachments. I used to describe myself as daddy's little girl, then my dad passed away and... still waiting to feel anything. It's been 2 years. Everyone says it will hit me someday. Idk. I'm not a sociopath because I do experience remorse. That's how I found this site. I knew something was different about me but no actual personality disorders fit. I feel like the older I get, the less I care/feel. I do feel frustration though and anger, not often, because like OP I'm pretty laid back. Things that would provoke other people gets an eyeroll from me. I don't have the patience to care. I'm not nurturing and taking care of my family is a duty, a chore. I could go live on a deserted island with wifi to keep writing and call it heaven. I think I spent more of my life living in my head than in the real world. As a teen I used to say my emotions are "broken" as in, they don't work. Back then I assumed I needed to do some growing up...

Emotional disassociation is another common issue around the world and it is common for older persons to become emotionally unavailable or detached throughout life. I can only recommend you see a therapist and perhaps as about an autism specialist in your are if you think it is a true disorder issue related to Alexi or Autism.

I was talking to my ex last night, and he mentioned that when we were together I would do certain things that would anger him and not be aware of how it affected our relationship. Which is mildly true, whenever he brought it up to my attention I would be in a shocked state wondering why he felt that way. I had difficulty understanding where he was coming from because whatever I did, didn’t seem that serious to me. I’ve always been like this, back in highschool I use to tell my friends I was “cold hearted” but in reality I never fully understood my emotions or how I should act in certain situations. I don’t respond to emotions of other people very well. I either shut down or roll my eyes; not caring about how the other person is feeling. I also find it hard to express what I’m feeling towards others. Whenever I try to I end up rambling or going off topic, resulting in confusing the other person and making it hard to understand how I’m truly feeling. I think I need help but I can’t afford to see a therapist. So I’m stuck trying to find help through research.

Hey, thanks everyone for sharing on here. As much as I don’t have lot of strong emotions toward people I have often felt “left out” and did not understand why. Hearing others’ stories helps me put that in perspective. I have many “friends” but almost no close friends. I regularly upset the people who are close to me because I say “hurtful” things which to me just seem like objective statements with no “emotion” attached. It is a struggle. The people closest to me often drift away because I find their emotional reactions to everything to be confounding and I really dislike dealing with it. Ha maybe I do know why I’m an outcast.